Computer Maintenance - 2

Spring cleaning the inside of your computer

Equipment needed:

• 1 x Phillips screwdriver
• 1 x Can compressed air (air duster)
• 1 x Face mask (optional)

I remember seeing my first computer in the 1960s when I worked for Shell Mex and BP in Ipswich. They also sold Power and National Benzole. Remember those days? One day we were all given a treat. We were bussed to Hemel Hempstead to see the company's new-fangled computer. It was apparently one of the first of its kind.

On arrival we were issued with white coats and hats. Under no circumstances were we to smoke when we entered the tabernacle which housed the computer. Air conditioning kept the air clean and at a constant temperature of 70°F.

When we were ushered into the sacred place we were struck dumb in awe. There were living machines everywhere. They were literally humming. Lights were flashing. Each machine seemed to be attended by one or several beautiful sylphs who watched as these machines variously devoured or spewed out streams of tape. Somehow all these machines were linked and were working in harmony to produce something phenomenal like discover the meaning of life. (Apologies to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.) “What does it do?” I asked tremulously. “The Payroll” our guide answered proudly.

You can imagine the profound effect that this experience had on this impressionable lad that was I. I maintained my reverence for computers for many years afterwards. Thirty years later I chose my first home computer carefully. Computer Magazine said that in spite of being the Rolls Royce of budget machines my choice going to be a bit on the noisy side. Small price to pay I thought. Boy was it noisy. I was tempted to open it up but there was this sticker which warned that I could invalidate the guarantee on my £1200 purchase. I put up with this infernal noise for 5 years! My computer was by now grinding to a halt. Eventually I found some resolve. I took a Phillips screwdriver and undid two screws on the case. I took a deep breath and broke the seal and the side of the computer fell off.

My eyes could not take in what I saw. I had been robbed! Someone had stolen the insides of my computer. There seemed to be just a few dangling wires, one of which had obviously been rubbing against the fan to cause that excruciating noise all those years. Then I wanted to choke. Dust. The dust of centuries had settled in my computer in just 5 years and was choking the life not only out of me but my computer too.

Now having got this far, here's what to do about dust in your computer. Buy a pressurised air duster with tube attachment (compressed air in a spray can) target price £6 from a shop or £2.40 on Ebay. To save me going to prison for ‘elf and safety reasons I must warn you to switch off the electricity to the computer by disconnecting the power lead and to don face mask. Then spray the dust covered components of your computer with the air duster, following the instructions on the can.

Brave enough? Then read a couple more articles first as they go into a lot more detail than I've given:

http://www.computerhope.com/cleaning.htm#12
http://www.technibble.com/how-to-clean-the-inside-of-a-computer-case/

You'll be amazed! The computer may well run faster and more quietly if it was badly clogged with dust. It'll probably smell better. You've got rid of the creatures which thrive in dust. Best of all, now that you've seen inside your computer you're no longer in awe of it and you're brave enough to tackle that memory upgrade without having to call the man in.

Article submitted by the editor.

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